Cut the Fat

Robert Browning said it best: “Less is more.”

So why do we write as though “more is better”? Why do we use five words when one is sufficient? Why do we think we sound smarter if we use fancy words over simple? Why do we use passive language when arguing a point? Why do we dodge and evade when the goal is communication? Why all the repetitious redundancies? (Who, me?)

Why are we full of hot air?

As William Zinsser says in his classic writing guide, On Writing Well, “Clutter is the disease of American writing. We are a society strangling in unnecessary words, circular constructions, pompous frills and meaningless jargon.” Okay, so we’re windbags. But finding out why we’re “strangling in unnecessary words” is not nearly as important to me as helping writers cut the fat. Period.

I call it “tightening.” It means making each sentence as lean and clean as possible; cutting every word that doesn’t pull its weight. As an editor and writing coach, clutter is the most noxious weed I encounter; tightening terminates it (like that fancy wording?).

Sometimes readers slog through so much clutter they have no idea what the writer means by the sentence’s end. Other times, writers use so many inflated words—trying to sound intelligent—that the sentence is unintelligible. And what about passive sentence constructions? After several in a row, the reader is left with a string of weak-kneed drivel. Then there’s the artful dodger, who dances around the truth with evasions and euphemisms. And what about all those “baby puppies,” “small smidgeons” and “true facts”? Redundancies, all.

It’s time to tighten—and you can do it at any stage of the writing process. I tighten as I’m writing a first draft and again, as I revise. Once you get the hang of it, your writing will never be the same again. It becomes your secret weapon.

Try this: Look over a recent piece of your writing with a magnifying glass. It doesn’t matter if it’s an office memo, an application letter, a short story or a memoir. Get out the red pen and mark every word that’s not absolutely necessary. Be ruthless.

Then rethink and tighten. It works like this:

• “We agreed to collaborate” becomes “We collaborated.”
• “After encouraging consultation with her supervisor, she decided the time had come to actuate her potential by going back to school” becomes “With her boss’s encouragement, she went back to school.”
• “I offered my assessment of the plan” becomes “I assessed the plan.”
• “I would tend to agree with her position in theory” becomes “I agree with her.”
• “Generally speaking, the reduction in force failed to distress him” becomes “Being fired didn’t faze him.”
• “The factual evidence proves that we heard the song once before in the past” becomes “The evidence proves we heard the song before.”

Now revise. Just make sure that in the process of tightening, you don’t squeeze the life out your writing. The goal is to cut the fat without changing your original meaning or losing your voice.