Use the Active Voice

Having worked with writers of all different ages and education backgrounds, I’ve observed first-hand that most of us possess an innate sense of what makes good writing—even if we don’t have the terminology to explain it. It doesn’t matter if it’s been 30 years since our last grammar lesson or if we missed grammar altogether. We know good writing when we read it or hear it.

If I explained that in “active voice,” the subject in a sentence does what the verb describes, whereas, in “passive voice,” the action described by the verb is done to the subject, would you instinctively know what I mean? Probably not.

But if I ask you which sentence in the following pairs sounds better:

• “Shawn fumbled the ball” or “The ball was fumbled by Shawn”?
• “The pilot landed the plane” or “The plane was landed by the pilot”?
• “Lightning struck the tree” or “The tree was struck by lightning”?

I’ll bet money you pick the first sentence in each pair—the active voice. It’s more forceful and direct and creates a stronger image. It’s not about right or wrong; it’s about vigor.

In the passive sentences above, the original objects of the verbs (“ball,” “plane” and “tree”) become the subjects of the sentences. None of the passive constructions are incorrect; they’re just weak.

One strategy for building active sentences is to avoid the use of “to be” verbs: is, are, was, were, had been, would be—the list goes on and on. The subject doesn’t act, but is acted upon, resulting in less vigorous sentences. Which constructions sound stronger?

• “She was seen by Sam” or “Sam saw her”?
• “There were branches blocking the road” or “Branches blocked the road”?
• “He had been forced to move out of his home because of foreclosure” or “Foreclosure forced him out of his home”?

In the active sentences—the second one in each pair—the “to be” verbs get out of the way so the meaning rings clear. Notice, too, that the active sentences are shorter than the passive ones. A side-benefit of active voice, then, is tighter, more concise writing.

So what causes us to lapse into passive voice?

Too often, I think, we forget to apply our innate sense of good writing to our own work. And because writing isn’t easy, we get intimidated, and before we know it, we’ve downshifted into passivity. We’ll sound more scholarly if we say, “The ball was fumbled by Shawn,” rather than spitting out the truth: “Shawn fumbled the ball,” right?

We need look no further than the 85-page handbook on grammar and usage, “The Elements of Style,” for answers. Written by William Strunk Jr. in 1919 and revised and updated by E.B. White in 1959, it remains—to this day—the gold standard for composition students (which means “all of us”).

Chapters I and II offer 22 basic rules of composition, but it’s Rule 14 that makes me quake in my boots. Every time I write a passive sentence that depends on a weak, “to be” verb for its survival, I feel the ghost of Strunk shouting from the rafters, “USE THE ACTIVE VOICE,” and I heed his command.

Try this: On your next piece of writing—no matter what the purpose or audience—challenge yourself to write the entire piece without using a single “to be” verb. Enlist verbs that push hard and create motion, imagery, sound and smell. Use verbs whose sounds suggest what they mean: slither, dazzle, twirl, sizzle, pamper, sniff. When you revise, banish every passive construction you can do without. Then stand back and watch your writing jitterbug.